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My kids are 8 and 5, and I just started doing ‘snack boxes’. Every morning, I put a variety of things in their box – pistachios, small turkey sticks, organic fruit pouches, rice cakes, etc. and usually a ‘treat’ like organic gummy bears. If we have muffins in the freezer I’ll sometimes include those as well. Then, throughout the day, the boys don’t even have to ask for snacks. They know if they’re hungry, they can get anything out of their own snack bin, fresh fruit, or cut up veggies from the fridge. It helps me decide once for the day, and I magically don’t hear ‘I’m hungry!’ every 4 seconds (which is THING haha).
Totally feel you! I have a 3 month old and a two year old and the pandemic made it much harder. With travel restrictions and having to be extra careful, I wasn’t able to get help as much as I could’ve sans pandemic. One thing I’ve realized about my 2yr old is that he’s been much grouchier with not being able to see friends and for a while we weren’t getting outside much at all because I was consumed with taking care of myself and the new baby. Since I’ve just gotten my bearings a bit I’ve been trying to get us outside for a walk each morning (so much work, but so worth it!) a good walk or even a sit outside while the two year old runs around helps all of our mental health tremendously.
Also, if I’m desperate, I try to FaceTime one of his toddler friends/my friends with a toddler. He’s an extravert, so he needs people!! (And so do I!)
Also, it’s hard on these pandemic streets! Give yourself lots of grace!
This is about the only thing I feel like I am reeallllly good at when it comes to parenting, haha, so I feel the need to share! I am a drill sargeant when it comes to naps, bedtime and wakeup times (my girls are 3 & 4). I get a lot of grief about this from my in-laws and family often as I don’t deviate much, but I have worked form home since my oldest was 6 months old and much of my work in those early years of parenting I didn’t have too much help with my girls so having a sleep routine I could always count on was clutch.
1. Wakeup clock: Our girls know they cannot come out of their rooms until their clock turns to green, so even though they might be up early some days, they know they can play in their room but cannot come out until 7am, this gives me consistent morning time from 5-7am (I am an early riser).
2. Naptime is 1-3pm always, we are always home for it so I know on days I need to get work done they won’t see it as a surprise. My 4 year old does not nap, but she gets to pick a workbook, sticker book or project from a special basket to have quiet time in her room. She has always had to do this, so she rarely puts up a fight.
3. Bedtime is 7pm, but again my 4 year old can usually stay up a little later so we just give her a flashlight to read and color and she has to have lights out by 8.
Seems silly, but these have been what has saved my sanity. They are my union breaks in otherwise really long days of balancing both work and and momming!
We hid both nickels and pennies in unfolded napkins/rags. R. is learning folding which is already geometry, but adding hidden coins allowed for counting/number/value practice too. Went well!
Hi!
I love this question. The first thing that came to mind was the idea of perfectionism. I personally do not show a finished product example to my son because I’ve noticed he gets very frustrated if he can’t complete something “the right way”. And that breaks my heart. I am also a recovering perfectionist and choose to not use them for myself when I create. I think kiddos are brilliant when we leave projects open ended. Sometimes what they come up with are better than an example anyway! Instead of showing a picture, maybe ask open ended questions about how they can work toward solving the issue they’re experiencing? There is another side to this, however. Kids need some scaffolding when it comes to a new idea or if you’re trying to explain something. I know I’m a visual learner and need a visual when it comes to seeing what someone may be trying to tell me. Using hand signals only goes so far :) It’s probably (like most things) trial and error. Keep us posted!
Late but have you found any inexpensive date night ideas that you’re enjoying? We are also fans of a chiminea fire with snacks in tow. A fancy picnic outside? Lay the blanket down, grab the binoculars, star gaze, and catch up.
Hi there!
I know this is a late post but I thought I’d leave some encouragement here. My oldest is 3.5 and has very intense emotions as well. Some of it obviously is normal for his age and other days I question whether or not I’ve missed something about his personality. Balancing my expectations of how *I* think my child should act like versus *who* my child actually is and me lovingly accepting this part of him. It’s so hard some days. You’re doing a wonderful job. I am also reading quite a pile of books on behavior and emotions. Anything by Janet Lansbury! Seriously. She also has a podcast and is particularly good at explaining young children and their behavior. She believes kids are inherently good and not “bad”. Her philosophy is very inspiring and has helped me numerous times. How To Raise A Wild Child by Scott Sampson was also a huge eye opener. And I know someone mentioned above but it’s worth repeating and I highly suggest it too. How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. Pure gold is right! Lots of useful and practical tools on how to phrase requests and gain cooperation without a fight (most times). Naming the emotion, having children help come up with a solution to their negative behavior, and addressing the issue after the storm have all helped change my approach to dealing with behavior I hope to see less of.
How are things going?
Victoria, stories like yours and Autumn’s really hit me hard and I feel for you both so much. Like Autumn, I feel like the way that I parent was shaped by my experiences. I am so lucky to have my son, my only child. In my life, I was not lucky and had six losses before being so beyond blessed with him. Thank you ladies for opening up and reminding me that I am not alone.
Hi Autumn! I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing! Sending virtual hugs to you!
Hi Victoria,
I’m so proud of you for opening your heart and having the courage to have this conversation. Your personal experience is inspiring and shows that you are truly a mom at heart. I will pray for your healing heart and return the favor by letting you know that I will be your listening ear if you need.
I have one beautiful little girl. She is my pride and joy.
In October of 2016 I had a miscarriage. It forever change who I was as a person. It changed my faith. It changed my relationship with my husband. It changed how I raise my daughter. It changed my sympathy/empathy towards people. I learned that humans can be horribly mean, as well as surprisingly kind. I learned that I am fragile. I found strength in myself that I never knew I had. I have learned that I can never “move on” but that I can move forward.
It took my almost 2 years to recover emotionally and I have never had the desire to have any more children.
But, if you ask me how many children I have I will always tell you 2. This child was and is a part of me that is just as alive as the little girl I get to hold every day.
I never give women advice when I learn their experience because I realize that this is something very personal to each one and each woman shows strength in different ways. But I will always cry with them and hug them and tell them that they are amazing and strong.
That is my story. Thanks for listening.
I am here for you, to hug, to listen, to cry, and even to provide chocolate.I am so, so very relieved to have found other goose. My son is three and in another world would have been starting preschool soon, and let me tell you unabashedly that I was looking forward to it, especially since I went back to school myself to get a graduate degree. So now, I’m taking care of my two boys(my son and his dad) and am a full-time student, and apparently a preschool teacher. What a world we live in.
Long story short, my main concern is about how to teach my son in a way that provides some minimal structure but not confines him to it, maybe that I am searching for a way to make a small differentiation just because I have noticed that this gets me better listening ears and things tend to go more smoothly. So what is a way to make learning time learning time while still keeping it casual?
I also am wondering what is a good way to involve Dad a bit more? He knows that we need to be on top of this but sometimes I feel like I’m shouldering the majority of this adventure in schooling and I’d like to involve him more and do it in a way that doesn’t make him feel forced. It’s like he wants to but doesnt quite know how to start.
And again, so glad I found Other Goose, I already feel so much less stressed and more confident that we can do this thing!
