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Hi there! My name is Keren and I live in Monterey, CA. I have a 4 year old son and a 10 month old girl.
Hey Shannon,
This isn’t specific to sibling rivalry, but here are some things that have helped us homeschool with our three young boys.We have a 3 1/2 year old boy, a 23 month old boy, and a 5 month old boy. We have started getting dressed first thing when they wake up, followed by breakfast, immediately followed by 30 minutes (ish) of school time. We have been in this routine for about 3 months and it is working for now. I also plan not to be out of our house at all most days until 9:30 or 10 so that we can have a more relaxed time of doing school and then being ready to play or go out.
Having a set time and space for school has helped them to get into “work mode”. All of us go to a little room we have set up as a school room and often we work through the activity together. Most of my intentional focus is on my 3 1/2 year old for now, but if my second one wants to join in he is welcome. I do have some activities that he could work on by himself if he wants to (coloring, easy puzzles, or just playing with something). Sometimes I just sit on the floor with a book and hold one on one side and one on the other. Sometimes my almost two year old is happy to draw or color for 5-10 minutes while we work through something else. Sometimes he wants to be right in the thick of it.
That desire for one on one attention from mom is overwhelming to me sometimes. Something that is working for us right now is finding moments throughout the day when one is awake and the other asleep. Usually a couple of days my second will wake up shortly before my first so I try to be present for extra snuggling or dancing around with him. My oldest is transitioning out of naps. We still have a quiet time every day, but after an hour or so I let him come out to work on something (usually creative) or to play quietly while his brothers nap.
Since the birth of our second, we have tried to work with each of our boys to communicate if and when they need mommy or daddy time. When holding my second boy, my first used to get very physical and upset. We had him let us know, “Daddy hold baby” or “Mama time” when he needed to. We incorporated that with our second when our youngest came along. Having that vocabulary to communicate that need is helpful for our oldest even now, and for our number two.
I don’t know if any of those things will work for you and your family, but I pray you find the answers and the have the grace you need in those difficult moments. You are the perfect mama for your boys. Blessings!
My kids are almost 4 and almost 7 and I’m thinking we might make a little time capsule to open on the next leap day, maybe I’ll have them answer some questions or write some things about our family right now. I’m sure there are lots of good ideas out there, but this is just what popped into my head.
Rochester Hills, MI 2 boys 3 1/2 and 1 1/2. I also spend a ton of time on Lake Michigan in the summer in Grand Haven! Woot woot!
we have been in this transition with our three year old also. He too has a stack of books that he looks at until he falls asleep or naptime is over. I like the reading to the stuffed animals idea. We haven’t tried that yet.
The Richard Scarry book “Cars, Trucks, and Things that Go” has totally occupied him for almost an hour because there is so much to look at. He enjoys the other Richard Scarry books too.
The day we built the Rest Nest he spent his quiet time there, looking at books, coloring, and drawing. He was so excited!
It’s my daughter’s routine to get a stack of books to read to her stuffed animals. She picks 5-15 books from our shelves, and we put them all at the foot of her bed. Then she reads until she’s sleepy and then takes a nap (or not)!
If my daughter was having quiet time in the living room, I’d have her stay on the couch or a blanket on the floor with pillows and do the same thing!
Hey! I’m the oldest of five kids and my two youngest brothers are adopted through the foster care system. My husband and I are also lisceneced foster family and plan to foster children once our two kids get a little older. I would love to email or talk more about any specific questions or fears that you have. I know it can feel really big and scary. But while not easy I had a really good experience growing up in that world and am so thankful my parents decided to say yes.
YES, yes, YES! <33
Reading through this thread gave me such a boost of affirmation. Seeing the same techniques we use repeated by others makes me feel so excited (and encouraged) that I’m not the only one taking the gentler, more toddler-focused road ;)Ladies, y’all are geniuses and then some. I love these ideas, especially the idea of playing with a timer, followed with incentive.
My husband and I have 3 small boys (ages 5,3,1) in our house and we are just starting the conversations and research into fostering and/or adopting a 4th child. This has been on my heart ever since I was in college and my husband is becoming passionate about this journey too. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and intimidated by the fostering process (I probably read too much online!) Does anyone have some real life advice/experience with the foster care system and adopting through foster care?
Thanks so much for taking a minute to read. :)
This is so sweet! :)
I sing “You are my sunshine” to my son, JJ almost every night! I will by taking a page right out of your book and re-writing that for him tonight. He is sure to feel so special!
Our kiddos seem to do pretty well with veggies, especially when we juice with them. Our favorite juice recipe:
Monster Juice (it’s usually BRIGHT GREEN, unless we decide to add the carrots…)
– one head romaine
– three leaves kale
– two apples
– three stalks celery
– one inch nub of ginger
– half a lemon peeled* sometimes a couple of carrots too… :)
My midwife informed me of something called Monkey Platters too? We’ve not yet tried it, but it seems like a pretty cool idea. :)
