Ever heard of soft skills? They’re a buzz word for good reason. Today, we’re unpacking what they are, how to learn them, and why the heck it matters!
So, what are soft skills?
Soft skills are – according to the Collins English dictionary – “desirable qualities that do not depend on acquired knowledge: they include common sense, the ability to deal with people, and a positive flexible attitude.”
In other words: soft skills have to do with who you are, not what you know. They’re linked directly to a person’s emotional intelligence quotient rather than their intelligence quotient. Think: If IQ is measured by a doctor’s credentials, degrees, and certifications, EQ is measured by their bedside manner. In short: the leap between hard skills and soft skills is MASSIVE!
Unlike hard skills that can be learned and perfected over time, soft skills are more difficult to acquire and change. Why? Many researchers argue it’s because soft skills are so overlooked in our society, specifically in a child’s most formative educational years. In fact, sociologist Thomas Scheff argues that many schools still view emotions as “an indulgence or distraction.” As a result, teaching communication skills, people skills, attitudes, social intelligence, and character/personality traits are often bypassed in an effort to boost test scores in more traditional subject matters like history, science, math, and reading comprehension.
So why do soft skills matter?
Ever heard the phrase, “We’re not raising children; we’re raising adults?” The truth is, if we’re called to usher in the future generation, and more and more jobs are becoming oriented toward AI and robotics, these soft skills are increasingly important to develop if our kids are going to be irreplaceable by machines.
In fact, research from the National Soft Skills Association cites that 85% of job success comes from having well-developed soft skills. Reports follow that a high EQ is far more valued than a traditionally high IQ. Soft skills are credited for building resilience, empathy, self control, social skills – and so much more. Totally valuable, right?
This is the education your child needs. Soft skills are missing from the traditional school experience, simply because they’re nearly impossible to replicate. But we as homeschoolers can teach it. And we must.
The beauty of homeschooling is that we can integrate this sort of skill building into our curriculum, whereas traditional education simply can’t agree on ways to measure soft skills in a productive, appropriate manner. Like most things, teaching soft skills and boosting emotional quotients starts with us. EQ is more often caught than taught, but the good news is, we can begin with the smallest step — the words we use. (Or, perhaps more importantly, the words we don’t.)
Our Favorite EQ Primer
Part of soft skill acquisition is knowing when to offer/receive feedback, and how. And because our small children are offering/receiving feedback – literally! – hundreds of times per hour, they’ve already got a jump start on their practice hours! To help provide your child with an EQ-forward environment at home, ask yourselves just 3 questions before communicating aloud – particularly when correcting them or coercing them:
Does this need to be said?
Does this need to be said by me?
Does this need to be said by me right now?
The truth is, our kids need our support far more than they need our words, and the time to correct or reprimand is almost never in the moment – and sometimes not even at all! By running our conversations through the filter of these three questions, we can better learn to offer our kids the essential, important guidance they need – and none of the fluff that they don’t.
Better yet? We’re shaping their EQ with every conversation, all throughout the day.
Want more?
If you’ve ever wondered why Other Goose includes an entire learning category that focuses on Relationships, this is why! We know how difficult it is to teach soft skills (and how important they are!), so we’ve done the work for you. Every Relationship lesson is tied directly to a soft skill, from recognizing feelings to building empathy to understanding causes and consequences of actions and regulating emotions in ways that promote growth.
Sign up here for 3 weeks free to see what we mean!