From the time your child was a baby, you’ve read endless stacks of alphabet books, bedtime stories, fairy tales. You know Goodnight, Moon by heart, you’re DYING to learn the actual name of the man with the yellow hat, and you think The Runaway Bunny is sweet, sure, but also kinda creepy. Page after page, book after book, library trip after library trip, you swear all of these hours will pay off once you’ve successfully raised a reader.
And finally, the moment you’ll never forget: the swell in your heart when your child strings together a series of letter sounds to read that singular, beautiful first word. Alas! A reader!
Flash forward a few years down the road. Your walls are lined with shelves and shelves of books from every genre imaginable. You’ve read with your child, to your child, and in front of your child. You’ve listened to hundreds of audiobooks in the car and podcasts at home. But nothing seems to light a literary fire in your kid. Your reader can read, yes, but doesn’t want to.
You’ve worked so hard to build a family culture of reading. What the heck went wrong?
The short answer: Nothing.
Just as learning to read doesn’t happen overnight, learning to LOVE reading doesn’t, either. Today we’ve got 5 considerations to keep in mind as you guide the reluctant reader in your home:
MAKE IT USEFUL
Believe it or not, studies have shown that girls and boys respond to reading in ENTIRELY different ways. Girls tend to read for inspiration; boys tend to read for information. In other words, if your son doesn’t see a purpose for why he’s reading, he’s likely not going to be engaged enough to spend a lot of time on it.
If your child is more geared toward informative reading, get creative with your resources. The next time you’re building an Ikea desk, give him the instructions to read aloud to you. Hand over the menu at your favorite diner so he can choose what he’d like to order. Or, ask him to read to a younger sibling from a favorite board book while you get dinner on the table. Chances are, your reluctant reader doesn’t have an issue with ability, but with purpose.
MAKE IT IMPERFECT
One of the mistakes many of us make is the assumption that because our kids can read independently, they should. Parents: continue those read-alouds! Even if your child can read words on a page, they’re learning far more (rhythm, sentence structure, and cadence) through your words. There’s no secret timeline that means you can stop reading to your kids – they’re STILL getting astoundingly similar benefits when you’re at the helm.
More importantly, a read-aloud is one of the best ways to overcome perfectionism in young readers. If you have a child that you think might be reluctant to read because he’s not yet perfect at it, keep reading aloud to show him how reading is a process we all grow into. He’ll rest easy hearing that you, too, stumble over the name D’Artagnan in The Three Musketeers.
MAKE IT INTERESTING
Give your child free rein over reading materials. We often assume that to raise a child who loves literature, we must only expose them to the classics. But comics and magazines are just as useful when engaging a reluctant reader. After all, by centering a child’s interests, you’re gaining instant engagement.
You’ll have plenty of room for introducing Shakespeare during daily read-alouds, but when it comes to your child’s own journey toward literature, let it happen in good time – and let him take the lead on the subject. Consider a magazine subscription to his or her favorite subject – animals, cars, movies, anything goes!
MAKE IT PERSONAL
Ask your child’s everyday heroes like beloved uncles, grandparents, or older playmates to share what their very favorite book was when they were kids. Check it out at the library and schedule some time to read it together (bonus points if the hero can read it to your child – even if over FaceTime!). There’s a natural, built-in curiosity present when reading a book that comes highly recommended, and that curiosity will likely pique your child’s interest long enough to become engrossed all on his own.
MAKE IT FUN
When in doubt, hand over a knock knock joke or a prank book. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t matter WHAT your child is reading as much as it matters THAT he’s reading it. Humor often introduces all of those missing elements for reluctant readers – like purpose, engagement, and interest – and creates an experiential process your child can use to build momentum that carries over to any subject or passion in the future.
Above all, fostering a love for reading is a matter of patience, and remember: being a superstar reader is NOT the only way for a child to gain knowledge or academic success. So many of our ancestors were illiterate but brilliant in their own areas of expertise, so resist the temptation to assume reading must be perfectly mastered or your child is doomed. There are hundreds of ways to learn something new, and in good time, you and your child will discover the very best one – together.
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